Silence
It’s January.
The beginning of a new year. A time for new beginnings and reflections. A time for transformations and resolutions.
2023 was a year of great upheaval for me.
Firstly I became the victim of racial discrimination then proceeded to lose my job due being conspired against after a violent racist attack by a member of the public, who an incompetent, mean spirited store manager and an indifferent area manager, both of whom used this incident an excuse rid themselves of me, who had already been colluding for months (years?) to constructively dismiss me (I saw the emails. My manger was so incompetent that she frequently wrote sensitive emails on workstations on the shop floor and left her browser window open for any staff member to see. Not to mention her spinelessness in dealing the constant racial discrimination i was subjected to and reported to her.)
Then, having to evangelically hunt for a new job, which thankfully i found, which granted me the responsibilities of shift managing a store as well as enjoying respect of my colleagues.
Then, to decide to bring forward my plans to study an MA in creative writer by a year, which I’m about to start my second term of (I’m actually at the British Library writing this when i should be working on a reflective critical essay. Shhh! Let’s keep it a secret) Honestly, attending university again and working a creative bubble among so many talented writers has easily been the best decision I’ve made since i started writing.
There have been other incidents that at present I wish to keep close to my chest because communicating them to the wind would mean also speaking on their repercussions and my reactions to them. I’m past that point now as you’ll soon learn.
I’ve been talking too much. Trying to convince people of the power they have which they freely give away, trying to convince people of the power of unity, trying to convince people that we (blacks) need not beg to be accepted into places where we're really not wanted but that we build our own and that we’re more than capable of doing so…the fact of the matter is, a lot of you don't want us and those that grudgingly allow us into your orbits frequently token us, the existence of the one being use as a excuse to slam the door on others. (Hey! We’ve got one here already! We’ve filled up our quota for the decade.) Why so many of us yearn for both acceptance and vindication of those people is beyond me…
I’ve been talking too much which means I’ve been wasting energy. I’ve been wasting energy trying to breakdown walls and convince others to help me do.
So I’m going to stop.
From now onward i mean to move in silence. To build. To grow. To transform. To convince those who have ears we’re capable of far more than we thank. That the stars are for everyone.
So, no more talking.
Time to shut the fuck up.
Silence